Painful memories… core spirituality, my personal journey

When I read this to myself I say… Replaying a painful memory over and over in my head is a form of self hurt. Toxic thoughts create a toxic body. I can make peace with myself, my thoughts, and my past. When I heal my thoughts I heal myself.

 

Replaying painful scenarios is a common human form of behavior we all participate at some points in our lives. How frequently this occurs is more apparent when we question our thoughts on a regular basis learning to recognize how the movies in our heads are causing us to feel unhappy, righteous, and cause suffering to ourselves and those around us.

Learning to be a more loving human being for me has shown me how necessary it is for me to learn to love my own thoughts so that I may actualize my own potential to access loving spiritual presence outside the drama of my own human condition and the world.

How I play negative thoughts about the world in my head, painful memories, is a way to investigate the present moment. When actually none of that is even going on for me outside the thought of it.

Reality selection thru internal investigation opens up the most profound experience in truth just under whatever thought I am holding onto. This profound truth under my thought is whole and loving and well. As I investigate my thoughts completely I notice my thoughts turning around, revealing in my present moment time the ridiculous nature of thinking I have invested myself.

When another person near me  brings up negative thoughts in my presence this is also another time I have to investigate my own reactions and find again any more negative thoughts I might have about what they are experiencing. Whenever I am negative I know I have more self investigation to pass thru.

Whenever I find myself in a loving peaceful state of mind as I listen to another person bringing up their negative thoughts I feel whole and well and I receive clarity about the nature of what is being spoken. I find this amazing.

As spiritual beings here having this human experience passing thru the halls of negative thought in each other becomes a terrific classroom for learning, it is a significant aspect of our lives on planet Earth. Some halls are long and dark filled with many ideas on one negative theme and can take us years to complete. Other halls we go thru are short and only take hours, or moments to get thru. Either way these classroom hallways of negative thoughts are well worth investigating. I ask myself is this true? Is this absolutely true? To begin the inquiry.

My past idea of being a loving person was in the context of loving others, then myself. Now the new paradigm for being a loving person is loving my thoughts, my thoughts about another person. I realize I am creating a version of you in my head, in my own movie. When I am loving my thoughts about the world, about you I am actually arriving at the profound place of genuine love and this feels light and easy.

There is no struggle or effort… the jump to loving comes naturally. The heart of the human being is designed to love and seeks to experience love constantly. So I learn to follow it…. not argue with it, not fight it, simply let it happen. Sometimes my thoughts tell me not to and I investigate that. I see how that thought was so limiting, or judging, or misunderstanding and completely of my own creation. I love even my negative thoughts so I may learn to remain open minded and to find my most absolute truth in any situation. It is always an “I win” scenario versus “I lose” .

Discovering the “losing battles” in my thinking has significantly brought me to peace, I simply move on.

Recently I was listening to one of my adult children sharing a difficult scenario at work replaying a painful memory sitting at home late at night. We investigated the negative thought they were encountering  in a colleague and then we investigated the negative thoughts my adult child was having in response. We found this was a “losing battle” of thoughts between the two. Each holding their positions without any give or take. (Suffering was the result of this and one reason the subject had arisen.) We looked at how we could turn these thoughts around and came to some new thinking about it all.

The next day I received a report that my adult child had had a great day, the first in months with this person.

What had changed? First the wisdom of recognizing holding certain negative thoughts was a “losing battle” and then letting these go to new thoughts that created a winning situation.

Learn how to win with our thoughts, not lose.

Another turning point….

another opening mind

an open mind is a healing mind

healing our thoughts one at a time.

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation.

” I don’t care”… What this may point to. Core spirituality my personal journey

 

When we believe the thought that says “I don’t care” and the feelings this generates we set something into motion that fills our lives in a way that touches ourselves and others. I always question this, as I do when someone says “I just ignore it”. I see me… I notice this in myself and I have to investigate it. Feelings of hurt, pain, and suffering are always based in believing something that is going on inside me.

I can always make new choices about this. I can always turn it around.

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

“It’s difficult to sit with someone else’s pain when you are afraid of your own”

Byron Katie Quote

 

Amazing Near-Death Experience In Iraq – Natalie Sudman

Natalie Sudman worked as an archeologist in the Great Basin states for sixteen years before accepting a position managing construction contracts in Iraq. After being injured by a roadside bomb (improvised explosive device–IED), Natalie has since retired from government service. She is now enjoying art, writing, and continuing explorations into the non-physical.

Natalie Sudman has been a subject of studies performed by the University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies, and welcomes invitations to act as a lab rat for any scientific investigation. Describing herself as an open-minded skeptic, Natalie finds that the rigorous methodology of science appeals to her critical mind, while her artistic nature enjoys the expansive freedom of leaving behind the critical mind in frequent forays into the non-physical. She maintains that an irreverent sense of humor and a willingness to look foolish are the cornerstones of constructive exploration.

Her book is entitled : Application of Impossible Things, Out of Body in Iraq

I enjoy the experiences of those NDE’ers ( near death experiencers) because I have had hundreds of my own out of body experiences which began in my 20″s. My contacts with non ordinary experiences in other dimensions of reality have shown me how many kinds of reality actually do exist thru different dimensions. Primary to these experiences is relating to and integrating them into  my life here.

The awareness of how we are creating our reality, learning what this means, and my identification as a spiritual being having a human experience. To this day I have frequent inter-dimensional communications with those not here in physical body. These experiences have been the underlying basis for my own questioning of reality as a human being here and now.

Those who have passed thru the gateway of physical death, and returned carry information identical to those experiences I have had all my life. I enjoy the sharing of these experiences as I relate well to the different points of view these experiences cause, as they often contrast dramatically with the teachings, the current mass beliefs, and common points of view shared by millions here on earth.

My experiences have shown me that the increase of NDE’s are another catalyst in breaking free of the limiting thoughts and beliefs that arise from those thoughts common to our collective species passed down thru the ages thru families, religious beliefs, and social, political, and military thought. The advancement of awareness is seeded in real people having genuine experiences transformed by them and living in the collective world society of today. These shifts of consciousness serve the greater unfolding of a  broad based kind of self knowledge of who we really are, and what we are really doing here as spiritual beings having a human experience. NDE’S  vary as do the people that have them, however what is common to most of them is they point to a greater reality of loving, an unlimited form of god source that may include religious beliefs yet far surpasses those ideas.

It is my intention here by sharing these genuine stories, real people have had, and their transformations in consciousness to circulate these ideas so that others may have the opportunity to learn to open the mind. When really it is myself…. continuously learning to open my mind…. to open my thoughts.

My experience has shown repeatedly thru out this lifetime the tremendous value of my life by learning to cultivate an open mind by enriching my capacity to understand, have compassion, to let go, and to learn to see clearly what is before me. I am learning how to withdraw my engagement with and emotional investments into thoughts and those beliefs that do not align with my experiences in multi dimensional reality. I ask over and over… is this true? is this absolutely true?

Ultimately leading to an inner place of increasing personal freedom which underlies the natural essence of myself as a spiritual being…. having a human experience.

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

Communication as a path of waking up, core spirituality, my personal journey

“Communication is love, and love as communication always joins or meets people where they are. Actually, we are never separate. I am speaking of simple awareness opening up and of realizing (not just believing) what is true.

When another person is speaking, listen carefully for the place where you can meet them. This is a joining beyond bodies. Find within yourself, past or present, how your experience matches his or hers. Until you are able to do that, the true connection with that person is missing. It’s like being on different planets.

If my husband says, “Life is terrible,” I hear him. I meet him there through my own understanding and I understand. I believed that story for forty years, and so I can go there painlessly with him now. (If I still believe that life is terrible, I feel it, I inquire and turn it around. Now I know how.) That allows me to just sit quietly with my husband and listen. I am presence beyond distraction, married and joined beyond what a license can give. I love him.

If I cannot sit with him (or anyone else) where he is and be peaceful, then my Work is not done. What will he say that will move me to defend or disagree rather than to join and understand? What diamond will he throw at my feet?”

Byron Katie Quote

When I read this and reflect on my own experiences I notice how truly amazing the process has become for me to connect with others. My experience has shown me over and over how these moments feel so alive with understanding and real connection, in retrospect I notice the practice is one of humility where there is nothing that anyone says or does that is not universal in essence.

The judgmental voice of the ego simply sits and watches and identifies rather than separating and judging. The ego stays in check and instead we share, truly share in the moment. I love this.

I find that practicing communication in this way opens doors much further when there is conflict arising and for many qualities of love, understanding, acceptance, and clarity of seeing one another.. even with a person I am meeting for the first time. My intent is one of heartfelt presence with whom ever shows up in my day.

Previously in the old paradigm of communication my opinions would surface and begin inside my head, silently another conversation would begin internally, and separation starts. In this paradigm of communication this does not happen. connection happens.

My preference when listening is truly getting it…. getting you…what you are saying in the moment.

I put my own opinion on hold to feel you, find my own relevant same moment of experience, I have never found myself not finding a similar feeling or experience.

Our human thoughts and feelings are universal, we all share in one large story line, and here in lies the path of understanding. everyone shares the same array of thoughts and feelings internally at some point in our lives.

The entire direction sharing takes shifts out of a place of connection rather than separation.

When we choose connection over separation, at the starting point, we are able to discover many avenues of clarity and common ground that feed new possibilities for healing ourselves and our thoughts about one another.

Everyday in my practice as a massage therapist for decades now I have had this opportunity to listen as a client shares their story of pain or suffering, confusion or nor understanding. Connecting with what is said is the most direct way I have of clearly seeing, feeling, and truly empathizing what it is they want to tell me.

This kind of connection nourishes the relationship of being healed. for in that instant I am joining with the person seeking healing. I am also the same.( as a facilitator I am seeking healing too) there is always common ground and I go for it, find that common element and proceed from there. Trust grows out of this and I consciously choose to be an ally in that moment. I find that clients respond on a very subtle and vibrational level, instantly, once they perceive I get them.

I have learned that by finding the common strand in anything a person is saying and joining them is far more beneficial in that moment than fixing them, or fixing the situation. first comes the peaceful listening then later and together there opens possibility for fixing, if that is appropriate,

Frequently I find that fixing is not really what a client or friend is really seeking, it is being heard… or “did you get me?, ” did you see me?” is the UNSPOKEN MESSAGE, this has proven to be far more effective than fixing.

Most often what happens when this is the case the person will spontaneously find their own solutions. When this happens I marvel at it. how their solution is always, yes always, just below the surface of their thoughts. and many times it is not the solution I would have suggested. When this happens to me I find gratitude in the moment when I have stayed out of the way of the situation. I love getting to watch as a another person finds their AHAA moment.

I find the AHAA’S a lot in my world, I have learned to do this over and over because I love it and I love having other people around me also getting those moments and it can and does happen with anyone anytime. Thus most days of my life I get to share in some kind of AHAA moment whether it is myself or someone else. Life feels alive in this way.

Most astounding to me ,though is the awareness that just below the surface of our thoughts is always an answer to our questions or dilemmas.

I am so deeply moved by seeing how life is teaching all of us, and how the answer is really so close to each one.

I have learned to trust life as it is coming thru us to show us rather than all the thoughts we have about life once we are willing to open.

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation                                                                                                                                                                          

( and believing our thoughts that we are separate)

 

Filled with love: Madonna Badger at TEDxNightingaleBamfordSchool

Madonna Badger is the founder and chief creative officer of Badger & Winters Group, an advertising and branding agency based in New York City that she started at the age of 29. For 20 years, the agency has worked with high beauty clientele, including Vera Wang, Avon, Living Proof, and Diane Von Furstenberg.

On Christmas Day 2011, Madonna lost her three children and parents in a fire that destroyed her Connecticut home. She survived, only to face an unimaginable new reality. Madonna spent the next two years working to overcome insurmountable grief and rebuild her life. She hopes that by sharing her story she can help others cope with loss, find meaning, and choose to live.

 

Introspection… a chance to see something new, core spirituality, my personal journey

 

 

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering.

Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring.

A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.”
― Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

“Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy.

This hasn’t ever worked, because it approaches the problem backward.

What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector—mind—rather than the projected.

It’s like when there’s a piece of lint on a projector’s lens. We think there’s a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whomever the flaw appears on next.

But it’s futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself.

This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.”
― Byron Katie

“Every problem perceived to be ‘out there’ is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking.” 
― Byron Katie

The idea of choosing 100% responsibility for myself, at the start, appears to be a massively huge task as I learn to pay attention to thought. Each day of my life I learn to see my thoughts and how I feel from them. The Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono is just this… the awareness of self responsibility and cultivating this in daily life.

The powerful place of inquiry shows me how to pull the thought-thread out on any issue and see where it leads. I find myself arriving at the understanding of how thoughts I have not investigated have played a huge role in shaping my outlook, my ideas of life, my identity, even as I have learned spiritual ideas and principles, there still exists the thoughts.

I watch as I learn to cultivate an open mind to what is really going on inside my own thought process. I continue to learn how this causes my experiences both positive and negative.

The experiences that show up arrive in perfect timing to what it is life is offering to me to learn. This is like getting out of bed over and over from a deep slumber as the waking up refreshes my senses again and every single time I find myself in another place of humility.

The ego self is learning where it fits in to the larger picture, as I see it judges so very well.

The humility arises as my ego self sees what is true for me in an absolute way.

By absolute I mean absolute, as anything before that is an argument within, with reality.

The ego self wants to have its way, to believe everything it judges to be real is real, and as it is confronted by inquiry. The clue to this is when I feel the sting of pain and when I notice how uncomfortable I feel then….

The challenge of asking myself is it true? is it absolutely true? unravels the belief, the idea, and the notions when the ego has judged it so… the attachments I placed on my thoughts.

How wondrous I find my experience becomes as I shift inside and let go of these attachments. The still quiet and no-thing is restorative to my being. I find myself  becoming more and more comfortable in me as I recognize my own ego and each thought it creates. I find it amusing to realize how silly this form of separation actually is and I relax.

And then the next ego driven notion appears.

I am becoming accustomed to this process now and I find coming undone to be such a welcome to my heart.

There is so much more space of love and gratitude as painful thoughts are let go, and I stop my own suffering again and again. I wonder how far this will go?

I recognize how much I have invested myself into a limited and tiny view of life, even as I had thought I had not. I thought I was big thought-ed !

Now I laugh at myself a lot more.

Silly me

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

The Car Ride, Driving to a zombie scare hike” Self inquiry and the turnarounds, How we identify in our mind…core spirituality

“

A conscious awareness and inquiry about our stressful thoughts has significant bearing in the pain and suffering we experience. It is the thoughts we believe inside our heads that is causing this for each one of us on this planet. And not someone else or something else… as the mind with a stressful thought wants us to believe.

Recently I listened to a beloved friend in a lengthy car ride ranting on about all the forces in his life, all the people, all the circumstances around him that were feeding his ranting. I listened closely and quietly inside myself to his hurt and pain as his voice elevated with more and more of the injustices his mind told him were wrong, and the pain that filled the car was palpable. I watched as I felt this as his pain and I clearly saw how identified he was as a victim and this fed into his idea of himself, and the world. The inside of the car was filled with a suffering that each of us could feel. People inside the space of this car were reacting with ways to stop it, to fix it etc.  and eyes were darting back and forth in response to this outburst. He was letting it all out! I watched as he identified all this pain as coming from outside him. Yet clearly this was his own pain as he was filling up the car with it and we all could feel it. This pain was not coming from all the places he was ranting it was coming from him!

“Mind needs drama to stay identified as you. And mind is not you”.

“How else can the mind stay identified if it’s not a victim? How else can it convince itself it’s something?”

“How does the mind stay identified? It attacks by calling nothing names”.

“I see every mind as the enlightened mind and I see the mind very confused as it identifies, or tries to stay identified, as something that it is not. And it has to be completely vigilant. And again the only thing I know to break the spell is just to get still and identify what mind is believing in the moment and then put it through inquiry and then see what is left”.

“Well, actually, to sit still in the question, to notice all those images, just to see yourself in the marketplace, to see your life and just notice what it would be like without believing that thought—he doesn’t care about me.

And then I like people to turn the concept around and ask what it would be like if it were the opposite; for example, if I have the thought that he doesn’t care about me, what would it be like if he did care about me? And the mind does not like that, because it’s contradicting what it believes and believing is how it stays identified with what it is—which is who you believe yourself to be.

Just notice the feelings that happen and the resistance there. And just notice and continue to find examples that would lead you to believe that he actually does care. And then look at another opposite, which might be, I don’t care about him. And this can be very shocking. Then you might see that you have been just as unkind or even more unkind than he was. It’s really an eye-opener.

So, that’s how to work the turnaround; finding the opposite examples.

So four questions and a turnaround. I like to say The Work is: Judge your neighbor, write it down, ask four questions, and turn it around”.

“Sweetheart, it’s your job to judge”.

“I have found that an enemy is the friend I judge in order to clearly see the darkness I hide within myself. My perceived enemy is the projection of my thinking. Through inquiry, my enemy becomes my friend. This is good news”.

“I wasn’t always able to live the turnarounds that I so generously held out for you to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with you, the one I had judged. I saw that my philosophy was not so easy for either of us to live. I saw that we’re all doing the best we can. That is how a lifetime of humility begins”.

“A mind that is open to see is powerful – the minute you judge or have an enemy in the world – you give your power away”.

“We judge the world so that we don’t have to look at ourselves”.

“I finally found something I was good at. . . judgment”.
Byron Katie Quotes

****The Work is a 4 question process (free on her site) www.thework.com . A simple way to question what it is the mind believes about absolutely any subject. ****

I am learning to undo much of my own beliefs stored in my own mind as thoughts that contain beliefs about reality, the past, the future, and life around me. Some thoughts I find I have held for years without ever questioning, some arise as life unfolds. These thoughts that pass thru each of us hold “mana” or “life force”or your could call it “energy”.

When we do not have conscious awareness of the thoughts we have and how we believe them, we are subject to the reality this will manifest in our lives. Which is great when our thoughts are aligned in truth, however pain and suffering of every kind is where the work can undo what it is we create for ourselves… particularly when we are invested in the thoughts that our pain arises from someone or something else outside the self.

 

How this situation is an opportunity for me is this :

I get to question this, I question the thoughts that have the beliefs that want to rant and I feel the results in a car full of painful mana, painful life force, painful energy. And I say thank you…. thank you so much for showing me, me.

This is me so many times and I feel reverence for how life shows me myself.

Now I will turn this around for me.

Thank you dear friend…

Core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

Self enquiry…What does this mean?, my personal journey

“Until we question our stressful thoughts, we remain victims of the images in our head”

Byron Katie Quote

 

When I began to understand that what I am seeing in my thoughts and images are the contents of my mind, not the actual situations that have occurred in my life, when I learn to see how the thoughts and images, even now, are really the contents of my mind, not what is happening,  my reality begins  to shift immediately.

Prior to understanding this I was living as if these thoughts and images were actually happening as real events…. not the contents in my mind.

There is a big difference.

The movie currently playing that is inside me is what my interior mind is creating with what ever has happened, is happening . I begin to learn the difference between pure observation, pure seeing.

Pure seeing and observing arises out of open mindedness in the still present moment of what is. Versus the movie of my thoughts and all that that makes me feel inside.

The question does arise to ask myself… is this true? If it is then… “how does this make me feel?”,  if it isn’t true, then… “how does this make me feel?”. This is a  marvelous gauge into the personal sense of my own truth.

My experiences continue to lead me on to discovering and waking up to all of whatever life is offering me in the moment. I find this encourages me to want to stay in the present, open, and connected. without questioning the thoughts passing thru me I find that I react, miss the moments, see and hear only my own points of view, I disconnect and I repeat the same things over and over and over.

Philosophies, religious teachings, opinions, untested within me thru the enquiry to my own personal experience in the moment just do not hold up to pure direct inner experience that I am having.

This is remarkably true when it comes to opinions expressed by those in authority of every kind that we blindly hold as personal truth.

Whenever I have the answers to: ” is this true?” the place within me shows as a transparent field of information that is very universal. I marvel at how self enquiry opens me to how universal and connected mind actually is in reality. There does not appear to be any sort of valid separation here.  Life is a oneness of all things, thoughts, etc.

Whenever I return to this place I also marvel at how easy it is to move from a state of separation to a state of universal consciousness and even connectedness.
This happens with another person, with a plant, with nature, with events I see on TV. When I observe the position I am taking is not one of being separate from, rather it is connected with. This is a state of being that includes the mind and yet is beyond the mere thought of the mind. I am loving this experience. I find myself deeply connected and the next reaction I have is a profound reverence for whatever human experience arises. Whatever is showing up, offering me another moment to learn.

This is how and why I question my beliefs, and within myself I question beliefs that others are investing. There is a possible learning at all times leading me into a sense of real time, present moment, learning. Over and over and over. Versus repetition, life becomes fresh in each instant.

Certainly not all enquiry is at first positive, as there are painful thoughts and how they make me feel that I encounter that result in suffering. These painful thoughts and how they make me feel show me what I have yet to investigate and question… as the process when fully activated always returns me to a state of truth, if there is pain I have yet to complete the enquiry. I know I have more questions to ask self. The truth within me always delivers me to a loving inner place. That is when I know I have come to my personal truth and my questioning on an issue, a thought, an image has been completed. Anything less than this is more processing and more questioning and more willingness to open up…. again and again and again.

Which brings me to the inner question… do I want to open up? do I want to have an open mind? And will I  let myself have the experience so that I may learn?

This is the work of undoing the self,

the activity of core spirituality

and my personal journey of self investigation.

 

My defensive mind, core spirituality my personal journey

My intention is to maintain an open mind. So whenever I find myself having to defend I watch this and notice… in that instant my mind is closed. This is an awakening moment for me and one in which I like to catch myself. as for arguing, I left that style long ago, as I am vigilant towards this one, however, I recently noticed inwardly I do argue with the various thoughts I have inside my head. BINGO!  I realize at this instant I am closed minded again. Whenever I listen to friends, relations, or the news I watch this drama unfold and I can clearly recognize how the mind gets shut down. Even heads of government, military, education, social services all do it. Amazing to me once I realized how shut down the mind can be when it has an agenda, thinks it  is right, or is stuck on some idea.

I get it now, it is thru the open mind that I am most capable of questioning reality and that means finding the truth of my self. this means every time I find myself in a mindset of arguing, or defending I notice how I am shut down in my mind.

What a wake up!

I can love my thoughts, and see them, I can learn to open my mind more and more, and I can let go of, or change any thoughts that pass thru my mind at any moment in my daily experience. I give myself full permission to have all my thoughts and to decide and re-decide as it would align with my having an open mind.
The thoughts that pass thru my mind appear to be thinking me, and I willingly and openly recognize that who I am is more than any thought I am actually having.

mind………….

thoughts………….

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

Desiderata   (Latin: “desired things”) is a 1927 prose poem by American writer Max Ehrmann

1. “Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
2. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
3. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
4. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
5. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
6. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
7. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
8. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
9. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
10. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With al its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

 

The Tenors – Forever Young (Studio Session)

The gift of music in our world, the beauty of the human voice, the harmony of it all…. is simply magnificent. May your day be one of many that are filled with all such things. Life is amazing.

 

 

Authenticity…. core spirituality, my personal journey

Never before in all my life have I come to the place I am in now where I realize what my being authentic means to me. For most of my life I have held the thought of being authentic in the world, with in the context of my relationships and how I “think” others see me. Honesty has been an ever increasing quality thru out my life over the years as I have learned to tell the truth. Honesty goes with authenticity. And yet openness is becoming evermore valuable to the whole process. However the level of intimacy I am developing within myself now is sometimes very difficult. By this I am referring to intimacy with thoughts passing thru me. The very subtle nature of thoughts as they rise up, or skeet across my attention. Telling the truth to myself about the thoughts… over and over and over.

I am learning that I have many many more thoughts that I do not acknowledge, that have a significant bearing on my sense of equilibrium and happiness. These are stressful thoughts, negative self talk, or uncomfortable thoughts that I am noticing. These thoughts are very very subtle, in some ways hidden from my attention, and hidden inside my thinking mind.

I am astounded at what I am discovering. For the most part of my life I held the thought I am being honest with myself. However the deepening effect of years of intention towards authenticity is now reaching new levels of clearer perception and I find this very uncomfortable. Paradoxically I also know that I am driven to continue in the direction of authentic self expression and I find myself with old thoughts that are not even real or true to me. I find this amazing. This uncomfortableness I feel is with thoughts I have held that I have a heavy or larger degree of energy around that contribute to my discontent with life.

As I am learning to ask myself the question, is this true? And again is this absolutely true? To the thoughts passing thru me, I find with these uncomfortable thoughts… they are not or they are and I decide and redecide how I want to hold such things in my mind as fitting the criteria of authenticity. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I realize how significant it is for me to question the reality with which I find myself every day and how thoughts I invest in are shaping my world, my experiences.

This is challenging me in many new ways as I uncover thoughts I developed as a child, a teenager, a young adult. Finding that as I approach elder- hood these thoughts are not even true to me any longer. The possibility for letting go of personal suffering and making leaps into more personal freedom are beginning to grow in staggering new ways.

The process of inquiry lends a natural path of steps that lead to an ever continuous letting go of definitions, identifications, and beliefs I have held for many years, hidden from my attention.

Here is where the premise lies in that I hold the thought …I am a spiritual being having a human experience and I stumble upon moments in time where I realize this as an empty undefined sense of myself. I call this experience the space of “presence”, or the space of “being”. It is a still and quiet place and while apparently empty of any content feels “at peace”, needs nothing more than whatever is here and now and has a sense of not knowing while also knowing.

I can clearly observe now in self, how my thoughts can slow down,complicate, and distort what more revealing “authenticity” means to me. And I find myself fearful of going further, yet more truthfully, willing to see those fears as simply thoughts of mine taking myself out of the present moment where I do experience the space of being “at peace” or in “presence”.

How did I come to create so many thoughts over the years, how is it that so much of how I feel has been shaped by thoughts I have invested? The amount of power and energy inside thoughts to generate a personal reality is becoming much more apparent to me. I am feeling staggered by the immensity of thought generated reality. If I am doing …..this, than many others may be as well. As I ponder this I look around the world and I see how the very thoughts we have as a collective species generate our world reality, even when these thoughts are not inherently,or spiritually valid or even true.

For example within my quieted self, the state of pure nothing presence I can see how everyone on this planet has everything here they need to be successful, joyful, radiant and fulfilled. Everything is here for this, in fact the planet appears to be a magnificent garden of delightful possibility yet when I watch the news, read the news, or listen to people there is a completely different sort of reality. I find this amazing. It appears to me that we are creating lack by our thoughts, we are creating systems that hold one another in poverty, pain, suffering, all simply by thoughts inside our heads. As in reality the planet has it all.

So here is the wake up call to me.

While I cannot make others see, change, or convert, or let go of anything. I can do this myself. Yet I do question the thought… What if every self on the planet did this and kept doing this until everyone realizes how what we think inside our heads is causing all the mayhem, and suffering? It is my perception that is exactly what is happening now all over the world and has been accelerated by the wonderful technology of our time. Looking into our collective experiences as closely as we can now is showing us ourselves. I see how people are learning to question, to question everything.

This is so important to me because when I do sit in authenticity I see the entire world and all life here as magnificently thriving, healthy, happy, and not at all in lack, capable of creating whatever we need out of our intelligence, our resources, and our collective spirit of togetherness. This is my experience of authenticity and the ongoing result of personal self investigation.

I will continue to ask myself… is this true? Is this absolutely true? And I will continue to discover whatever shows up each day of my life as I increase into authenticity.

Core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

shared with aloha

The Teaching…core spirituality, my personal journey

“We’re always teaching; it’s just what are we teaching?

It’s not an option that we’re teachers.

Every human being is a teacher, just what are we teaching?

Let’s be aware of it.

If I am fearful, I teach my children fear.

If I am empowered, I teach my children empowerment.

What kind of teacher do you choose to be?”

Byron Katie Quote

What I love about this quote is the idea that it is not an option that we are all teachers. This is a profound thing to live as I realize that my actions and words in this world blend into the human symphony of our lives… with consequences.

Once I began to see this in my life I become more mindful, paying attention to the details. As the realization that we are all connected has grown for me I have come to recognize how I have endless opportunities to learn thru being alive. For the moment it is whatever is catching my attention, as this is where I am learning.

This is quite powerful to understand when i take off the lenses of perception I have carried that are based in projections. Where I have held the thought that it is “they”, “the system”, “the other”, “you”, and not myself… that is what is going on.

 Because what is going on is actually is what is inside me about what is going on around me. What is going on inside me is what is shaping the world I live, and the world we live collectively when I consider the what is going on inside all the lives around me.

 Yet there is no difference here. what is going on is universal to our humanness. What you experience I do too, at some point.

We are sharing in the same thoughts feelings and actions.

A greedy politician or CEO is believing that they have to have more more more , must take at any cost…. I have believed that thought that some material possession, or some kind of power was what I needed at any cost, at some point in myself.

A religious zealot is believing the thought that they are right and they have all the answers for everyone, I have believed that thought at some point in myself.

A misguided human is standing up for bigotry, hate, and exclusion and believing the thoughts he is having about this. I have believed the thought I was right without realizing how I might be injurious to my humanity.

A policeman or prison guard may be cruel and unjust to someone believing his or her thoughts at the time. I have had cruel and unjust thoughts at some point within myself.

Our common experience here is the spiritual being having a human experience and all the thoughts and beliefs we go thru in a lifetime.

I have watched the repetitive reenactments of oppression with those who believe their thoughts that they cannot change. I have believed the thought too that I could not change at some point in my own life while I was feeling the same thing about myself, my own oppression.

Thus my belief that we are all teachers arises to show me how it is I may always learn. Both from those beautiful positive moments in life I see around me as well as those horrific negative moments in life I see around me. We are all the same here.

We’re always teaching; it’s just what are we teaching?

It’s not an option that we’re teachers.

Every human being is a teacher, just what are we teaching?

Let’s be aware of it.

I willingly choose to take in my projections… my projections that it was “you”, “the system”,” the other”. I willingly accept that I can change my own thoughts and beliefs so that I may love even more. For in all honesty and within all reality, inside me my heart, I have a  yearning  to express the love and to feel that. I want to love more and more and more. In this way I may do my part. IT WAS NOT REALLY EVER ABOUT YOU.

Thank you to all the teachers in this world…………. that is ……..EVERYONE !

core spirituality… my personal journey of self investigation

Negative Criticism, my personal journey of investigation

 

 

“Until we can see criticism as a gift, it will keep coming”. 

“Go out into the world and look forward to every criticism. Criticism is a gift”.

“Every criticism I’ve given has been about my happiness”.

“I haven’t met a criticism –ever”. 

“When someone criticizes me, here’s a phrase that is my mantra: “Could they be right?” ”

“I love receiving what the world calls criticism. It’s a very, very fast way to know yourself, just in case you don’t—-the world does! So if you’re a true seeker, open your mind to criticism….could they be right? Because until we realize what our enemy realizes about us, no change is possible. How can I change when I deny? It’s not possible”.
Byron Katie Quotes

 

Criticism is a major issue for many of us in our lives, personally and collectively. Our medias are full of it. Our minds contain many such thoughts, if not critical for others than for ourselves or some system. I am particularly interested in self investigation around this.

Critical thinking where discernment is required is not the issue here, blame and judgmental stressful thoughts are!

I have one friend that sends me endless emails of criticism of every political, social, environmental, and system issues this person feels is wrong. I find this interesting as I truly need to view my own thoughts on the subject.  The critical voice appears again and again. Once I was attending a consciousness raising public fair filled with booths of all kinds. One booth had an author of a book on the subject of Face Reading. Looking at each separate feature of the face and the corresponding trait associated with the kind of features we inherit thru our gene pool. I was intrigued by the idea and went to investigate by meeting the author.

The primary feature of my face that this person pointed out to me was the trait most strongly on my face, according to the Face Reading materials of the book, was criticism.

The author asked me if I had a critical parent.

The question posed for me an opportunity to deepen. I reflected on this for a long time and this resulted in my making decisions in my 20 something self that came out of this where I decided to convert my own inherited criticism into a form of discerning and critical thinking. However…

Negative criticisms are still a part of my own nature, and as such I am learning to say thank you (inwardly) as I encounter this, though it is rare for me to encounter being criticized by another it does happen at a distance and my birth family is literally consumed with this subject, I am watching the thoughts inside my mind. I still see them. I remind myself to stay open and learn so as to let go of this within myself as it arises. Outwardly I notice there are a lot of “backseat critics” that catch my attention.  I am learning this is me in a reflection, and I am choosing again and again to turn this around. I have felt the sting of criticism and I am familiar with it as a judgmental projection being received.

Again I am learning to inwardly say THANK YOU.

This is all for learning and I am a student of my life.

Everyone is my teacher.

I find that letting go of negative stressful critical thoughts opens me every time to some new loving thought and I replace them one by one. my heart self grows with every turn of this process every single time, every single critical thought. I find this liberating and in a simple way feels much better.

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

How to stop the war… core spirituality, my personal journey

When I watch the news I am reminded to go within.

“As long as we’re at war with our own minds, we are at war with the world and with the whole human race.

Because as long as we want to get rid of our thoughts, anyone that we meet is likely to become an enemy.

There is only one mind, and people are going to tell us what we haven’t dealt with yet in their own thinking. “You’re fat. You’re stupid. You’re not good enough.”

If you are an enemy to your own mind, other people have to become enemies too, sooner or later.

Until you understand, until you can love the thoughts that appear in your mind, then you can love the rest of us.

You work with the projector -the mind – not the projected world.

I can’t really love you until I question the mind that thinks it sees you outside itself.”

Quote…..Byron Katie

When I read this to myself I read it this way:

As long as I am at war with my mind, I am at war with the world and the whole human race.

Because as long as I want to get rid of my thoughts, anyone that I meet is likely to become an enemy.

There is only mind, and people are going to tell me what I haven’t dealt with in their own thinking. “You’re fat, stupid, not good enough. “

If I am an enemy to my own mind, other people become enemies too, sooner or later.

Until I understand, until I can love the thoughts that appear in my mind, then I can love the rest of us.

I work with the projector – the mind – not the projected world.

I can’t really love you until I question the mind that thinks it sees you as  outside myself.

Self inquiry opens me to my capacity to own the life I am living and to release all forms of victimization & harm… regardless of the actions of anyone, any group, or system.

The reality is the one within me. I am learning to be self responsible. To stop the blaming and to get on with the “wake ups” these self investigations bring to me each day.

Each day is surprising, spontaneous, and new.

Each day I take down another piece of misplaced identification and replace it with true spiritual presence.

I find myself quieted.

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

Words..core spirituality…my personal journey of investigation

When i read this to myself I say; My words are, of course, the most powerful drug I use inside my humanity.

When I say this to myself in the context of watching the words inside the thoughts that flow thru my mind, I see how these thoughts generate a multitude of physical responses that translate inside my physical body thru hormonal and neurological responses that translate thru to my muscles, tissues, organs and so on. As a massage therapist now for over 35 years I also watch the effects of thoughts in my client’s bodies and there are no doubts inside THOUGHTS ARE THINGS.

Happy thoughts, thoughts of being in love are like opiates which lift the human into states of wondrous physical expressions, harmonious thoughts create relaxation and peaceful bodies, simply listening to music can even take a miserable feeling body into a dancing joyful moment of happiness.

Loving thoughts generate a calm and peaceful heart that pumps evenly and orchestrates many other sub systems into an amazing symphony of wellness thru out the body. The words with which we fill our minds are generating millions of internal chemical messages inside us every day. These chemical messages are translated into our physical expression in how we come across into the world. Some people appear very old, and worn, from their thoughts… with components of suffering that take away from the joy of ageing, while other people appear very young and fresh despite their years. I find this amazing and something to investigate.

Stressful thoughts that we all have passing thru our minds are generating all manner of pain, all manner of suffering for our humanity. These stressful thoughts are more powerful than drugs as they produce the chemicals inside our bodies that generate the suffering, even then causing many of us to take drugs to attempt to feel differently, feel better. Prescription drugs are the largest mis-used from of drug taking in our culture. All the drug company commercials are filled with images and words that are filled with smiling faces and happy people who take their drugs, while the words are filled with suffering and pain. I like to question these kind of messages.

Our prisons are the world’s largest and filled with the most immense number of  imprisoned individuals all because of thoughts of themselves and their world that they believed were true. Believing in the immense poverty of spirit, and misfortune combined with inner thoughts of hardships that result in suffering consequences. Believing that they are powerless and less than anyone else, victimized and hurt so as to kill, steal, injure, and hurt another. Yet how is any prisoner any different than a person outside those prison walls who is believing the thought of themselves as less than, or victimized by some outside authority, system and or actions by others? I like to question to investigate this observation.

Our thoughts left uninvestigated, left unquestioned can pull any of us into unlimited states of perpetual fear, anger, hurt, pain, and daily suffering. While we are consumed by our own uninvestigated thoughts, and how awful these inner thoughts make us feel we are bypassing the more significant reality that exists beyond such thoughts such as peace and wellness for anyone who is imprisoned by their own painful thinking yet does not realize it yet.

I like to investigate this quote so as to really find out for myself how thoughts are like drugs.

Which leads me to DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA ,  like the majority of popular television programs, reality shows and news programs the appetite for drama is literally mind staggering to me. In fact the use of one single word in this American culture, one word that has become a popular one used for everything that I find amazing is the word fight, fighting. From fighting diaper rash to breast cancer, from fighting political opponents to fighting disease. The single use of the word fighting is prolific in our mass thinking….without question, without investigation. I often change the word when I hear it to things like discover, encourage, challenge, or face. My experience shifts as I find replacement words for fighting things.

Left uninvestigated the common use of just one word in our collective mind has generated the largest proliferation of military and war weaponry made to kill other human beings in the known history of our species.

Year after year for over 150 years of consistent American participation in war efforts. More humans have been killed by fighting in my life on this planet than all the people who even lived preceding this time in our lives. And we commonly use the word fight for everything from kitchen scraps on our dishes to bacteria in the toilet bowl, to wrinkles on our faces to the politician who is simply expressing a different point of view. I truly like investigating the use of words in daily life.

Words left uninvestigated, and especially in our own minds act as drugs, the question is do I want to continue suffering, or do I want to feel well?

lets investigate it!

core spirituality, my personal journey…of self investigation

Actions Speak louder than words…. how we notice this… pass it on!

~Call Off the Struggle~ by Adyashanti ( with additional comments )

Most people are in a constant state of struggle with themselves. Tremendously burdened by the past and in constant anticipation of the future, most human beings are rarely able to be fully present for more than very brief moments.

1.(see below for comment)The tremendous openness and intimacy that is required to be fully present is beyond most people’s ability to sustain for more than a few moments before they habitually contract back into the familiar condition of separateness and struggle that so characterizes the human condition. ( 1.see below for comment)

This constant state of struggle manifests as a compulsive and addictive relationship to the movement of thought, emotion, and time.

2. (see comment below)There is great reluctance to stop struggling because in the absence of struggle you suddenly begin to lose your boundaries and definitions of who you are. For many people this causes fear to arise as they experience the loss of their familiar sense of self.

Struggling is how the ego-personality maintains its existence.

When you cease to struggle, identification with the personality begins to break down and you become aware of your emptiness and lack of boundaries.

The most difficult thing for spiritual seekers to do is to stop struggling, striving, seeking, and searching. Why? Because in the absence of struggle you don’t know who you are; you lose your boundaries, you lose your separateness, you lose your specialness, you lose the dream you have lived all your life. Eventually you lose everything that your mind has created and awaken to who you truly are: the fullness of freedom, unbound by any identifications, identities, or boundaries.

It is this location-less freedom of being that spiritual people are seeking, and at the same time are running away from because its faceless nature gives no fixed reference point for the personality to hold onto or to seek security in.

3. (see comment below) As long as you remain identified with the personality, you will always be seeking security to the exclusion of the Truth, and will remain in a constant state of struggle.

It is only when your love and desire for Truth outweigh the personality’s compulsive need for security that you can begin to stop struggling and be swept up into the arms of an ever-unfolding revelation of the Truth and Freedom of Being.
~Adyashanti

****core spirituality… my personal journey of self investigation ****

1. When I read this my experience is slightly different in that I would say most people’s ability to sustain being present is always available in the right moment of our “now is the time”. This “right moment” is accessible when the time is ripe for each person. I have witnessed untold moments in time with individuals in my work and personally in sharing, where the shift occurred spontaneously. I marvel at how we catch ourselves and feel the shift as we become fully engaged in present time within ourselves and each other.

By holding our presence in now as we engage with one another there is also an opening up… and expansion of more presence. Just like a burning log on a fire ignites a new log in the fireplace, our present time awareness with one another leaps across and opens the now to our full presence together. Yes it is common that humans are habitual in “this struggle” however it is a habit.

I notice that the presence within us is actually only in the present moment, it is the mind that takes us out. This is the larger reality that is my own experience. We facilitate maintaining our awareness in present time with one another whenever we are able to sustain this ourselves generating interactions that are timeless and purely in the moment.

2.In the absence of the struggle what we are left with is our pure being. We are all learning how to identify and re identify who we are as pure being… this is our next great human evolutionary leap.

I call this “spiritual being” having a “human experience”. My own life experience shows me that this is our growing edge collectively as we take down all the false historical data in our lives, and reveal the stillness that lies underneath the commotion of all the ego driven activities of our lives. This is a magical discovery that becomes more and more comfortable as we learn to identify beyond the struggles, sometimes one struggle at a time. I marvel at how we humans dismantle our struggles and reveal ourselves as we truly are purely, deeply. Instead of the idea… “i don’t know who I am, we find we do know who we are and it is almost impossible to put into words, as we are in origin pure being… limitless.

3. The personality driven individual is not wrong,it is simply personality driven, when the wake up occurs and we experience ourselves beyond our personality we simultaneously connect with a much much larger reality of co-existence where we all of a sudden we find ourselves interconnected in ways we never dreamed before while in a human body. I find this magical.

   Our capacity to hold the Truth of life becomes possible in a way which redirects the attention of who we are as spiritual beings having this human experience… again again and again. I call this living in the paradox of life. Unlimited presence inside limited human constructs of life… all at the same time.

   I believe this is our human evolutionary leap and the direction we are heading as a species.

Core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

shared with aloha

The business of life… core spirituality… my personal journey

 

Staying in my own business is a an old idea I am embracing with a new awareness. Like hitting the refresh button on my computer. Instead… its inside my head!

My new awareness is me waking up to the uncomfortable stressful opinions, beliefs, and ideas I have held and still do regarding other people, what other people are doing or have done, how other people carry on in the world and all the feelings this brings up for me.

I am astounded at how much energy I have been investing in all this without really being aware of the magnitude of my own mind and my own internal thoughts. The effects of this self investigation have dramatically altered the interior personal space of my self.

Upon waking up to old opinions and thoughts and realizing the stress I have caused my own self with these thoughts I am turning them around and finding it is much much quieter within me.

Stillness replaces these thoughts once I let them go and turn them around thru choosing to be responsible to myself. Responsible for what thoughts I entertain inside my head.  There comes a kind of empty presence in my self.

I have the mental  picture that these psychic tethers to other people ,places, and events once removed free me up with whomever I was projecting on. This internal freedom actually feels very good. This good feeling also feels very right, much more so than how I was living. Not me being “right”, simply feels  right.

Next I have begun to see how all the stressful thoughts and feelings I have been unconsciously feeding have been distracting me from my own inner work /personal development, and happiness. wow! this is a major awakening.

The distraction I held by thinking about what you are doing, believing or perpetrating in your life has subverted me from the business of my life and my own internal peacefulness. What was I thinking by holding on to such things?!!!! crazy making! Now when I have a stressful thought of thinking  about you and you and you…  are making me feel so stressed, and this and this and this, in the world are stressing me I recognize it is my own thoughts about it all. What kind of thoughts have I, am I driving day to day inside me. ( I question my self)

Questioning the contents of my thoughts is a major wake up here.
Learning to observe thoughts that arise in my head and investigating them, then making new choices to be self responsible for how I feel by taking it off of you and you, and that and that and that is a kind of personal freedom that shows me how to walk my talk, how to live what is true for me and to live in the increasing inner space of purity and harmony. This also shows me how if I were you and you and you and I believed what you believe, and  thought what you thought… I would act the way you do. this is all very revealing.

I love giving myself the choice to believe or not believe my own stressful thoughts and to hold this for you as well.

core spirituality, my personal journey of investigation

Suffering , core spirituality… my personal investigation

When i read this I say to myself… MY suffering is never caused by the person I am blaming.

Learning to investigate my own stressful thoughts  inside my head and how these stressful thoughts feel …around issues of blame is a stunningly sobering wake up. As I am older now I have less blame and shame in my daily life, however in my past I have been like most people and so it is also waking up to my past blames I am investigating.  I often listen to clients and friends, news casts and films where people place blame on all manner of external people places and situations for what is going on inside their own minds.

Self investigation and personal responsibility truly call me to my own self, and my own thoughts and my own feelings as the lenses thru which I am experience my life. It is obvious to me now how relevant it is to question myself, my thoughts and how I feel more than ever before in this life. Holding anyone as less than perfect is simply becoming my reality as I learn to pull back and recognize my own self, and discern thoughts and feelings and self.

The self that is watching it all within me, the still and vibrant presence of life that is me, that is you without separation. Here I find core spirituality and the place where I come to understand others. Watching how we all have our own thoughts, how we believe those thoughts and then act. It is all very transparent…. if I believed the thoughts that you did I would act the way you do too. Thus I learn to enquire into my own and learn how to turn myself around. I am wanting me to be more open.

When uncomfortable thoughts and feelings arise I see now how I am contacted by something wiser, as in self investigation these opportunities are my own personal moments to enquire and ask myself …is this true… is this absolutely true? The wise element of life contacts me daily to show me so that I may continuously question and  learn, and let go of all thoughts and forms of identity that are against my heart, and the love which is seeking to be expressed. My experiences are remarkable.

core spirituality, my personal journey of self investigation

Responsitibility core spirituality…my personal journey of self investigation

When I read this I say to myself… my turn around is…

As I accept complete responsibility, for my life, my life keeps sending me experiences to get my attention.

And that is all I can do each time, each moment of my day. Acceptance chooses me, and turns within me when it is ready and not before. There is a time for all things and that time comes when it actually happens. Not a second before.

Learning to recognize my life is one of acceptance after acceptance after acceptance. The miracle is that life is unceasing in opportunity and infinite in scope for me. When I feel my heart loving that which has been so withheld I feel the goodness in that. I choose to be open and vigilant to remaining open as best I can.

I come undone and lose what I “thought” was so important.

I keep learning that love is what beckons….

core spirituality… my personal journey of  self investigation

“You will never have to force anything……..” core spirituality, my personal journey

When I read this to myself I turn it around and I say… I will never have to force anything that’s truly meant to be.

core spirituality… my personal journey

Investigating life…core spirituality…my personal journey

When I reflect on the stressful and or disharmonious  situations I encounter whenever I look out into the world, when I feel the subtle messages of discomfort and stress within myself, when I am unhappy with you, with myself, when I feel your discomfort, your unease,  or my own….whenever I find myself in such situations I know I can investigate.

My pain shows me what’s left for me to investigate.

I begin to separate into my own experience, of the me, and my own experience of you, of the world to recognize what it is I am painful about. I stop the projections, the denials, the avoidance, and the responsibility is mine.

When I see that I am distressed about you, I find I am distressed about me and the idea I am holding about you.

Thank you for showing me myself.

My thoughts, my beliefs about my stressful thoughts and what this is doing to me.

When I am distressed about me I find the door way leading into my own investigations of discovery.

The pain shows me what is left to investigate.

How very simple and uncomplicated this investigation really is.

My entire life I held the notion and belief that this world needed to change, when all along it was the world as me sees it, my experience of the world that was beckoning me to change.

This is a huge shift in awareness. There is a collective perception of our world, born of our humanity that creates and generates what is happening that begins with the self…. myself… with each person…. each singular being adding to the big picture.

I want to learn how I can manage me, that is quite enough here, not manage you! and then do my part.

God is managing the rest of it, unfolding thru each of us, and all of life that leads me to… There is what is my business, your business, and God’s business in this world.

I am learning to get this one straight, and stop wasting time in reactions and projections and powerless action about it all.

First I want to manage what is in my head, about this world….. not yours! That is my business.

And every time I do my self investigation I go further into what it is all about and I realize something.

I realize it is within my power to make my own turn arounds and find peace with… joy with…. and such astounding love with that which has been my pain. Discovering there is wisdom in how life unfolds so perfectly that any painful investigation when completed returns me to joy. That there was purpose in that misunderstanding we went thru, those harsh words that we shared, that betrayal I was crushed from, that fearful belief that I uncovered, that was within me, about you, about the world.

I am thank full for every person, situation, which lead me here, I get it now. I am the one who needed to change. What you do is your business!

So my story is not really all about the pains, it is about my finding and making my peace with that which is. Making peace with my past as I have held onto it, now.  The pain is only pointing the way to what is left for me to investigate.

oh how wondrous it is to live with an open heart, and an opening mind.

core spirituality… my personal experience

shared with aloha

Impact of Open ET Contact – Edgar Mitchell, Simon Parkes, Alfred Webre, JD, Tolec

Fascinating different points of view, different experiences and perceptions around the table of this one conversation of men.

When we believe our stressful thoughts, we suffer.

Asking myself is it true? self enquiry. When I believe my stressful thoughts, I suffer.

What happens when we stop ignoring our stressful thoughts and beliefs about them

Loving What is…The Ego writes…..

“If you really want to know the truth,

if you’re not afraid to see your story on paper,

the ego will write like a maniac. It doesn’t care; it’s totally uninhibited.

This IS the day the ego has been waiting for.

GIVE IT ITS LIFE on paper.

It has been waiting for you to STOP, just once, and really LISTEN TO IT. It will tell you everything,  like a child…”

Bryon Katie, Loving What Is

See the link to  The Work and the 4 questions of self enquiry below

http://www.thework.com/downloads/worksheets/JudgeYourNeighbor_Worksheet.pd

***************************************************************************************************************************

When I read this I say to myself…

If I really want to know the truth, if I am not afraid to see my story on paper, my ego will write like a maniac, it doesn’t care, it’s totally uninhibited. This is the day my ego has been waiting for. Give it it’s life on Paper. It has been waiting for me to stop, just once and listen to it. It will tell me everything, like a child.

Listening in to a beautiful conversation….

Listening in on a conversation sparked by the words of Martin Luther King and his life of service. I found myself melting into a depth of heart as the conversation unfolded into the possibility each one of us has thru the choices we make to self enquire into what it is we think and believe inside our minds. Truly… It is not until we question what it is we are believing inside our heads, that we can honestly free ourselves from the suffering of our own creation. I am inspired here.

“I’m angry,my mother doesn’t respect me, she doesn’st listen to me, she is controlling…..” The Work with Bryon Katie

In this exchange we learn how what she thinks and how she feels can be sourced to this person’s deeper truth about it all.

Amazing process to inspire me to do my own work and wake up to  heart.

 

Just let go……

When I read this I say to myself….

“I can just let go. I can let go of how I thought my life should be, and I can embrace the life that is trying to work its way into my consciousness.”

I could post this for everyone else, however the realness of it is making it my own work.

Being positive is lightweight, making it mine it becomes real.

It is not until I get real, that it matters in a transformative way.

When I get real, then….. I am doing my part.

There is little I can actually do to change your mind.

Getting real is core spirituality