Taking a Fresh Look into the Family ( Ohana) Dynamics that Trigger us… A Soul Perspective….core spirituality, my personal journey

Taking a Fresh Look into the Family ( Ohana) Dynamics that Trigger us…A Soul Perspective….core spirituality, my personal journey

When I did not or refused to love, I learned to love anyway.

When I was hardened, I softened and came to understand more than before.

When I felt stubborn I yielded and learned to be more open.

When I was too soft, I became strong, and in so doing became more capable.

I was lazy, and became disciplined… the painful inertia of my non action forced me to take action. I learned how valuable it is to understand stagnation, and the power of moving. People triggered me to get my butt moving, I did not like it, and I learned to get the message.

When I was victimized particularly as a child, I later healed my emotions, learned to think in new and different ways, and turned my own self around to become victorious. Releasing my holding on to my past and freeing my now moment, finding my true sovereignty. I learned the value of my own inner child voice and I listened. I sought help for myself and in so doing learned respect for the voice of the child.

Any child.

When I was afraid, I learned courage and thus changed the entire course of my life.

When I spoke hurtful words, or they were spoken to me, I have learned to take account of my own subjective experience and understand how my own internal self is effected. In this action of self-reflection I have learned to reflect. I have learned to become objective, and I have learned to redirect my own sense of hurt in a way that has shown me how I can be, and how others are as their words are a reflection of them, not specifically of me. I have learned to stop the patterns of self hurt through the words of others when I can, and accept how it is others show themselves. Dropping judgmental projections for clear discernment. This discernment has become an ongoing trait with less problematic outcomes in all my relationships. My world shifted when I claimed accountability for my emotions and feelings and stopped blaming others for HOW I FEEL.

When I hurt I looked within, took back my own power of self, and learned to be accountable for my own life in ways which removed me from patterns of hurt and replaced those with profound new awareness which showed me I can move on, thrive, and not incur the same to someone else. I refuse to perpetrate cycles of hurt, for myself and for others. No matter what.

When I was saddened I learned to accept my emotions so completely I went all the way to the bottom of that sadness and I sought healing, and in so doing the sadness showed me the value of endings that lead to new beginnings. And generated for me the awareness of how cycles exist all over the universe.

When I felt betrayal I took issue with myself instead of the other, and learned to find power in letting go, finding new directions, releasing people who do this to others, and freed myself from ever having this happen again. I learned acceptance for “what is”, and in so doing moved on. Acceptance of “what is” cannot be underscored more. Learning to accept what others show us about themselves is a primary skill in relationships. Honoring my own feelings, is equally as primary.

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Some of my own personal triggers. These are but a few trigger scenarios I have been through in my own family, and how they each became powerful developmental stages in my personal evolution. Beginning early in childhood, under the roof of an abusive family situation, full of alcoholism, co dependency, and some basic neglect. I learned how to take myself seriously, when no one else would, and to take responsibility, when no one around me would, and to redirect my life as I would have it, because the pain and difficulty was not a choice I wanted to live through. The fury of alcoholism, combined with quilt ridden religious teaching, and the lack of getting my own emotional needs met as a child all changed as I became a teen and found my own will to move on beyond all these many life situations.

We all have personal challenges hidden in issues that arise in families today

I finally learned that issues I experience, regardless of who triggers them are for me to process and that any issue I find carries a significant personal challenge for me to resolve. leading me to  release the controls, manipulations, and any other scenarios from other people, and with gratitude… I do my own inner work. People trigger us for many reasons, the primary one is our soul growth, and not just to hurt us, bug us, irritate us and drive us crazy.

Is it is valuable to note that I have understood the issues that arise for me in my family are the perfect issues for me personally to grow from as a spiritual being. Contrasting this with the common idea that people who dump problems belong to everyone else and I am simply a causal victim, or recipient of the actions of others. This is hardly the case, once we become awakened from the soul aspect of who and what we are. The shift occurs that these incidents are part of a larger design for which I am present here to process, learn, and grow.

Issues of every kind show up in family dynamics. Our people will trigger us. Those closest to us will push our buttons. Our closeness will cause us to get irritated, upset, and angry. Our losses will hurt, and hurt deeply. Our talents, skills, and potentials will be challenged, exploited, neglected, and all manner of triggering. Power, love, misunderstanding,cruelty, abuse on every level. Abundance, materialism, artistic expression, and history.

Today life style challenges many… religious paths, sexuality, gender, politics.

Issues are areas of concentrated emotional, intellectual, artistic, physical, mental situations yet to be explored fully which contain experiences that will teach the indwelling spirit of a person something for which they have chosen to incarnate into this physical world. Issues by nature are unlimited in the earth experience, can be highly charged, totally challenging and either build up or completely tear down existing belief systems, erroneous ego notions, and shift us on all levels of ourselves all over the map of creation.

What is a trigger?

Everyone starts as a child, and as that child may encounter emotional/mental situations for which they do not have the capacity to process. Once adulthood sets in anything resembling those unprocessed emotions can trigger us. Paralyzing us for an hour or even the whole day. We become susceptible in these situations because of our own unmet need to process, understand, and integrate those aspects of emotional intelligence into our selves. Not just because someone has done something to us.

In my experience we also as soul self, choose family situations where we can see specific triggers will likely happen that are precisely what we need in our own evolutionary growth as spiritual beings having a human experience. In my own case I have remembered patterns of emotions that were so complex that one lifetime alone was not enough to fulfill the necessary experience to bring full understanding to me. Thus incarnating into life to continue themes for which I have spiritual purpose to explore so I could come to a full realization of what these emotions truly are . Often this has happened with the same people over and over, as we switch places and play our roles from every side of the equation in a soul based effort to bring to each other greater knowledge while on earth. Sometimes one may play the victim, next the perpetrator, other times the savior.

Triggers are those patterns of emotional intelligence, mental ideas, and circumstances that we carry inside of us, as unfinished potential full realizations. these are the significant components of our earth life with which there are many valuable experiences that will open us, reveal to us, illuminate us, redirect us, and add to our underlying sense of purpose as well as knowledge about life.

They are not merely problems, obstacles, hindrances, irritations, and conundrums solely in our lives to make us miserable. This level of awareness is the early stage of awakening in the earth school. There are many more possibilities for learning that ultimately lead to transcendence and transformation.

How the knowledge of our soul can open up greater purpose

When we have been activated beyond the ordinary awareness through circumstance which may be positive or negative we engage the wider spectrum of our own source self, our spiritual self, the soul. Once we have the connection to our soul perspective this engages knowledge of purpose that likely transcends the typical earthly perspective without the soul. The intellect begins a process of re-education where we begin to observe these experiences from a new perspective filled with meaning and purpose. As we cultivate this meaning in our lives, even the most negative of life situations sheds light and brings significant meaning to our inner selves, the world, and life around us. Widening our view of ourselves, each other and life around us. There is an unfolding of learning that begins to awaken inner knowledge so much so that the experience becomes one of remembering. Remembering (soul) what we have forgotten about life, ourselves and one another. This remembering is the soulful spiritual nature that exists in life everywhere in the universe in vast capacities and is forgotten temporarily through the act of embodiment here on the Earth. When the purpose of any situation becomes apparent from the soul a large context begins to emerge with which to operate our lives, make choices and to understand. This larger perspective may not occur to every family member at the same time, and so often when this happens a wide divide may occur in relationships. Boundaries change, and relationships go through many phases of expression, and understanding.

Memories of my own soul

In my own quest for a sense of completion, and fulfillment, understanding and release from pain I have bumped up against the edges of all my emotional and intellectual edges. Finding myself going further and deeper past those edges into realms of spiritual sight, inner soul memory, and soul based awareness that far exceeds the typical human levels. Because I have chosen to ask myself the necessary questions, and I have chosen to allow myself to keep feeling my feelings I have entered the realms of soul presence. This has brought into contact with others who have had similar experiences and realizations which have confirmed and supported my own soul development and choices to let go and move forward beyond the status quo of my previous understandings. I have spontaneously seen, felt, heard, myself in other times as other people struggling with the essence of the exact triggers I go through in this lifetime. Providing a broader context of understanding that I can say “fits well” with everything in my experience up to this point. Like finding a missing puzzle piece and completing a puzzle these memories of soul history complete the unanswered, questionable conundrums of my life in ways that are difficult to describe. I can say that once a life puzzle piece from my soul comes into place the feeling of peace, of understanding, of completion, and “fit” is perfect. There truly is a quieting of the self, and a peace that passeth all understanding.

Hardships, unrelenting difficulties, and impossible scenarios …unexpected deaths, murders, and various other horrific family stories

As difficult as it may seem to an unprompted human, one who has not opened to the soul qualities of this wider perspective, there is tremendous purpose in these events. For the individuals to whom they occur, those around them, and the general human family collective as well. For in all things there is a vast intelligence and purpose that is unfolding through the human experience. The great tragedies will open us into the soul realm of ourself and begin a journey of exploration far beyond anything we conceived up to that moment in time. Breaking open our minds, hearts and feelings with such depth that only by choosing to relearn and deepen understanding will the event itself not destroy some part of us. Wounded beyond repair this leaves the choice to either lose self in thoughts and actions of greater degradation, or transform and then transcend. The choice is ours.

THERE IS A IMPORTANT LEARNING HERE!

Though murder, unexpected deaths, and seemingly impossible scenarios hardly appear to have such meaning, they actually do! Soul consciousness extends beyond the boundaries of physicality and time. Living from a spectrum of spirit that within us is so vast that it includes a physical lifetime. And the soul is fully aware of this. I have had hundreds and hundreds of experiences communicating with loved ones who have passed over due to extraordinary circumstances and regained their full faculties after life and have come forward to express details which release and heal those left behind. Myself, I have remembered my own tragic life endings and recalled the details of my ongoing soul evolution. Without any doubt, I am fully aware of the greater meaning, and spiritual significance in horrific endings, tragic outcomes and sad scenarios left in the wake of a life through tragedy.

Ways in which we are meant to learn….. Physical, mental, spiritual, social

Looking at human life from the soul perspectives we are set up, so to speak, ( by our own soul choices and agreements before incarnation) to learn specific things about ourselves.

The nature of reality, and the essence of life itself. The most difficult of human learning bring the greatest capacity to break patterns that have existed in families for thousands of years, repeating and repeating until such time as a soul awakened individual breaks free of the limiting emotions, imprisoning belief systems, and twisted notions of reality. These people are truly present all over the world right now passing through some of the most difficult scenarios thought possible. Their choices to learn from these experiences are causing tremendous changes everywhere and sparking others to loosen up, to question authority, and to seek answers from within.

Physical

There are infinite scenarios through physical challenges that we find problems, obstacles, triggers,and limitations. All of which when observed with an awareness of learning from and learning through the process of painful physical illnesses, and limitations we develop depths of understanding about the natural world of a physical body, and how to successfully achieve results. In my case I must always attend to my circulation, via exercise of all kinds, play time, and authentic sensuality. If I do not pay attention here I always end up sluggish, lethargic, unhappy and disconnected. My body shows me through the non verbal messages of pain and pleasure, restfulness and excited-ness just how to find balance. Diet has a significant impact on cell physiology, circulation as well as mental and emotional states. Our physicality is a major area of universal learning. As a body therapist I encounter all of these and many other issues through the practice of body work, facilitating the clarity with clients and the deeper more meaningful messages in the body.

Mental

How we think, what we think, and then any actions we take or do not take based on our thoughts impact every aspect of our daily lives. When we develop a vigilant attention to our mentality we open unlimited areas of resourceful possibility, and when we do not we close off any of the same possibilities. Mental illness, as it is called is in my family, and through humanity. Mental illness both for the person experiencing it and those around them impacts our lives and is monumental catalyst for shifting people’s awareness. As we learn to take care of our thoughts, and how they affect life in us and around us we heighten our consciousness in ways in which we can not only heal, we can transform, and still go further and transcend these situations in ourselves. Developing the witness part of ourselves is a signal that we are learning to face, and move through mental states instead of being victimized by our own thinking and the thoughts of others. Intellect alone or knowledge is not sufficient to clearly embrace the totality of our mental states. Self awareness develops the witness aspect of a mind capable of seeing its own thoughts, and discerning the intellect, the thinking mind, the rational mind and the intuitive mind. Intuitive mind is unlike the intellect in that the frame of reference in any intuitional thought arises from a basis that may include thinking, or intellect, yet more than often comes from beyond it. In other words it appears to be from left field as the saying goes. Having little or not connection to what the thinking mind is saying. I have learned to hold on to intuitive thoughts longer, so as to give my thinking mind time to process, translate and integrate the significance of the intuitive thought. I experience this both inside my head, and above my head about 4 feet above. This is an aspect of soul connection that informs me. This is almost always amazing, provides answers that bypass all the typical logical thought processes and integrates the mind as well. By choosing to face our thinking triggers, pass through our thoughts to completion, and to remain open-minded to learning the mental issues we face will always show us new perspectives far beyond our beliefs, thought processes, and logical deductions.

Emotional

When I look at emotions I like to discern the difference between non verbal feeling that arises from the depths of myself, or my body and the thoughts I have about what feelings I am having. I find many times there is not a distinct discernment in thoughts we have about what we feel. In fact it is common when asked about an emotion a person will reply with an “ I think that….” kind of statement to put into words what they feel. I also detect how we think so much about feeling that we layer thoughts over feelings and address those as our emotions. This confuses the person, and the body sending many mixed signals all through the biology and physiology of a person. Causing much physical distress, hypertension, and all kind of diseases as these scenarios progress and become deeply ingrained in the character. Emotional intelligence is the cultivation of our feelings and thoughts. Separating them and identifying all the components of a particular emotional situation. Intuitive feeling gets bypassed, or ignored because it does not always have words, or fit into our specific emotional patterning. Intuitive feeling is different in us all. In myself I know how I have feeling that is deeply intuitive that arises directly from my heart, and or my abdomen. It is almost like a watery substance that comes from beyond my conscious awareness and I have learned how to hold on to these feelings long enough so that they become processed and then translated into images, and words that I can understand.

Spiritual

Every family either has a spiritual or religious pattern, or none at all. These days our spirituality is being confronted, challenged, and developed by the immense amount of polar opposites that arise in conflicts. Our innermost spirituality is easily broken wide open through our family tragedies, intense possibilities now available in self-expression and personal direction, amongst so many other issues. That we look deeply into ourselves through the challenges all the way to our innermost spiritual selves, our religious beliefs is all part of the plan. And learning to view ourselves and each other and all life as spiritually based. Moving beyond the limitations of only physicality as has been the case for thousands of years. Our spirits are activated, excited, speeded up, and flipped out into our lives like never before. Expanding every aspect of human life out into vast spaces of larger meaningfulness. Many are choosing instead to go the route of more limitation, more fundamental religiosity, and deceiving themselves and others about hatred, non inclusive rules, bigotry, egotistic maniac-ness in the effort to hold on to thousands of years of old patterns that no longer serve us. This reversal of spirituality is a free will choice that has its consequences and limitations. It is steeped in denial on all levels… physically, mentally, emotionally as well as spiritually. Perhaps the pervasive thought and emotion in going backwards is the fear. Fear based spirituality has been used to control people for long history in our human family.

Social

We are redefining all of our social places through our expansion of our complex human sexuality, gender identity, class-ism, economics, and so much more. As we develop new relationships we expand upon the old ones causing more inclusiveness, more understanding of our selves and each other. We develop new social structures, procedures, systems, laws, and so on. We have many socially unacceptable situations needing our attention. We have many unresolved social problems we need to take care. In the process of facing these issues the triggers subside, diminish and lead to many many new understanding and possibilities.

Patterns exist because we have lived before

Looking from the soul view patterns exist in our lives because we have lived before! Within our own bodies are generations of DNA that are the former expression of people who were ancestors. We do not realize it because many of us are so completely cut off from the knowledge of the history of our particular family ancestors, however the effects of all this live within us as us. Add to this the embodiment, or physical incarnation patterning carried forth through the subtle body of our soul self. Here are the continuing intentions for learning, the timing of events and people who will trigger us and the unspoken longing for truth about all these situations. Our incarnate directions are within us aligned with the soul choice for embodiment through the circumstances of our birth. Picking up on themes we are seeking to develop. These may be either positive or negative or any combination.

The deflated ego and the restoration of self

The majority of the early work of our lifetime is in the structure of our ego nature. This is very important as it will provide a personal container for our soul essence in life. As part of the curriculum of this planet we will pass through many many stages of ego development. In my experience one very misunderstood aspect is the deflated ego. The deflated ego feels like depression, sadness, dark emotions, feelings of being lost, and disconnected. Once I realized much of this was the realignment of my own ego I began to catch on to the fact that my ego is not really in charge. And when it deflates it is a good thing, though it feels awful. The deflated ego learns to let go of silly ideas, twisted notions of power, inappropriate life plans, and immature ways of living with others. To truly grow up we pass through all the delusions, and illusions of our ego creations. However the trade-off is the larger self, or spiritual self… the soul. Spiritual here different from religious. Innate spiritual forces that exist within us are independent yet may be connected to religious dogmas, disciplines, or beliefs. Yet even still the pure aspect literally stands independently of any man-made religion. It is what it is because this is the source of what we are as spiritual beings having a human life. Family triggers punch lots of action into our ego structures, testing their strengths, weaknesses, and the reality of truth with which we hold. Whenever my own ego gets deflated I have learned to reflect upon those uncomfortable feelings and I let go to a larger aspect of myself. Every time the result has been what I opened this writing with, I shifted and learned something very valuable and traded my limited little ego stand for my inner authentic soul place.

Changes in locations

Family triggers will cause us to move. The changing locations with which we pass into are significant in that new opportunities arise in new places. Separations, relocations, sudden movements of large groups of people as is now happening are all purposeful in the larger unfolding plan of our human family. Out of the larger collective family arise forces that alter our locations and in turn shift our relationships. Causing us to face differences, solve new problems, expose out dated customs, and free people from many painful life circumstances. I like to remember how family triggers include the larger family of humanity. And like our smaller micro family dynamics these larger ones add equal value to the human evolutionary process. As we integrate all that this means we have rich opportunities to grow and to evolve our selves.

Abuse and how we are to learn from it

A shocking realization for me was the memories that surfaced within me through the emotional work I did on healing myself. As I released more and more of the stuffed up, contaminated, overloaded contents of my own sub conscious I found a clarity. As there became a deep abiding inner peace within me I became emptied of many family scenarios of which I had suffered for years. In this peace my soul qualities filled in. In these peaceful internal states I integrated powerful memories of soul choices I had made before I became the me I am today. As a pre incarnated spiritual being I had looked closely at the earth based, family dynamics I could be born into. And to my shock I recalled the choice to undergo the difficult and painful experiences I would later learn to name abuse. Yet from the soul perspective I was particularly excited to avail myself of the chance to learn more and more through these difficult life scenarios. In my work with individuals over the years, I have witnessed the same exact realizations. These individuals who worked through the deepest layers of their negative pain, also had similar such soul memories. This has happened with such a congruent way I have learned that what we call abuse is meant to teach us, reveal to us, and to release us as we grow out of those circumstances. Not at all to imprison us as is the common idea held by people without soul awareness development. Shocking as it may be I found in the memories of many previous death experiences in past lives, even death has purpose.

When I was 33 years old I had a spontaneous soul review. Similar to a life review that is reported by people who have near death, and dying experiences. I had a soul review that showed my a long history of incarnations and the prevailing patterns in those lives and each death at the end. I reviewed the after life experiences and the returning to my soul self with each incarnation. This overview provided for me a larger context with which to frame human experience based on my own personal evolutionary unfolding in the earth school. In many incarnations I was learning every component of human power, power over others, power under others. And now as was revealed to me in this experience power with others. I experienced the tremendous, infinite love of God for me to have these experiences including death through murder, being murdered, and everything else. This love is far greater than even humanly possible to understand. So great is this love and so intelligent I learned how each negative experience I was victim to or had victimized would also contain an equal opportunity for balancing. Thus the polarity of experiences and the roles I played in all these different life times. The abuse we suffer here is actually meant for us to learn to understand, transform, and then transcend. This has not been the prevalent teaching in history of religion, and I learned that there have been powerful forces inside many religious institutions that are subliminally exerting hidden forces of control and manipulation. Thus in this lifetime I have learned that when a dogma is mean and unloving in any religion, I notice that. I do not participate any longer in any such teachings.

Soul agreements for incarnating and suffering through hardship

The incarnation that you and I are living within now contains soul agreements with the people in our families, as well as the collective human family. Suffering only need last as long as it takes to wake up to the larger perspective of a spiritually based ( not necessarily religious ) soul awareness of life. The depth of the painful things that are happening now have a polar opposite in the larger context of our human history and human species. The depth of pain has a counter balance in the depth of how unconscious we may be. In other words put like this… were we not so unconscious about the nature of existence and relationships we would not create or allow to manifest that which we are creating in this world. Out of our own unconscious thought feeling and action we generate experiences that will by nature arise to balance these things out. There is wisdom in the seemingly crazy unconnected terror, horror, pain and suffering we see around us. As we learn how not to create oppression, submission, power over others, greed, malice, and all the darker human emotions we currently still create we will have less expression of terror, abuse, suffering and pain inflicted one to the other. However we will have to learn from our triggers and seek to stop recreating patterns of hurt.

Release and freedom, the transcendence of conditions

Summing up here releasing self, learning to abide in freedom, and transcendence of negative situations is the underlying momentum arising naturally out of the great wisdom of creation in us, as us. Our experiences of suffering though not all consciously created, may be consciously transcended through prudent, vigilant exercising of our own free will. We all have some element of free will within the dynamic patterns of our pain. There is not final outcome of unending suffering and pain that is taught all over this planet. The soul is timeless, and directly connected to God. The soul in us is possible to be activated in any situation. Until one has passed through this, tested it, and learned this ….it may be hard to embrace, however that we effort to test ourselves, our beliefs and learn from what triggers us is a defining key to the human conundrum and mystery of suffering on our planet.

Anchoring the personality into the soul self

The result of the effort of the healing of our family triggers inside each one of us is ultimately the anchoring of the soul itself into the personality structure of self. Bringing into the world the greater will . Purpose, and light of a spiritually based person. A soul infused person who will manifest the love of our source here on this planet. If you have ever met or encountered such a person you will not forget them. A soul infused being has a powerful love, unflinching understanding and deep embrace of the human. Their very presence shifts the world around us. And they exist in every single walk of life, from the most lowly to the highest stages of human activity. I have been fortunate to have traveled all over the world and met many many such people and I am always left touched in some way with a gentle, yet even fierce love.

Living in the world as a soul being, and the effect this has on the world.

A soul incarnate being contributes in this world in ways that bring balance to life. They may even be your worst enemy. The bane of your existence. The choices that one encounters as a soul infused being, in my own experience defy what is normally accepted. Soul infused choices arise like magic, and create opportunities where humans could not. My own life has been filled with amazing such happenings. I know that soul people heal this world where ever they go. Their actions may be quiet and subtle yet their power great. Power to lift others, to show the way, and to pass beyond the most difficult of circumstances. Making way for truthfulness and the possibilities to love like never before here on earth.

The mystery of deep listening

The mystery of deep listening is that we learn to listen beyond the common voice of current rhetoric, and habitual patterning of anything less than soul based awareness. Learning how to pay attention to the unspoken promptings inside us, around us, and in nature. To listening to each other far beyond our words. The mystery in silence is there is more in the silence than in the words. I have learned to honor the pauses in life, not to fill every moment with chatter, and to hear past what you are saying. There is the sound of your soul, my soul yearning to be heard, seen, and felt. Our triggers lead us deeper so that we may come to these places in ourselves, and with one another.

Core spirituality, my personal journey of self-reflection